Trouble Sleeping?

Lately, I've had trouble sleeping. Many excuses come to mind and they could be very valid ones at that. Truth is, there's too much going on in my mind to concentrate on sleep. What's the next phase going to be like? How many trials do I have coming up this week? When will I feel as if I am in this WITH GOD instead of without?
I start to feel a conviction unlike one from the usual "sin" in need of repentance. Some days I can actually hear my heart cry out, "God, where are you?" Only to hear a voice whisper,"No child, where are you?" I ignore it and let the rest of the world make me calloused to the things that surround me.
I have looked everywhere for a solution. Here's what I have come up with: without starting with myself, there is no solution. Truth is, I am the source of my own problem. We all are.
In that case is it safe to state that I have not crucified myself unto Christ. I therefore do not believe He is sufficient for me. With this said, do I go on to say that I don't believe the unfailing Word that was left to instruct us? It has been a lingering thought in my mind. Do I go on as we all do and let our thoughts take captive of what we have faith in? If so, we are all fat, stupid, inadequate and lacking everything that society says we need to "make it".
I tried to get sleep earlier today from a strained, sleepless few days. Before I dozed off for about 5 minutes, I was reading Romans 6. Verse 18 shot out of the page as if I were wearing 3D glasses at the iMax Theater.

Romans 6:18 "and you, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness."

“Faith is rest, not toil.” - Horatius Bonar

Bonar is on point indeed! We allow Christ in the crevasses and figure we would tuck him away until we need him. When the toil reaches an unacceptable level. As Romans 6:18 states, we are "slaves to righteousness". If this is so, than wouldn't our faith in Christ in fact be rest? I have to take this to a level of answering every possible question. Any question left unanswered can make me feel like a "staggering buffoon" unwilling to seek out the answer to my my problem while I chug on the alcohol in my hand.

So, the problem that is apparent above can only have one solution. That I cling to Christ! Rest in Christ, in whom faith comes. Toil not in things unnecessary. Let Christ be the physician. Matthew 9:12; Mark 2:17.

"Jesus is a wise physician.
Skillful and exceeding kind;
Through hims sinners find remission,
And enjoy sweet peace of mind.
Moved with tenderest compassion,
He relieves the wounded heart;
And the richest consolation
His blest Spirit does impart.
This physician understandeth
All disorders of the soul;
And no payment he demandeth,
When he makes the wounded whole.
Come, ye souls, who now are sighing
Under guilt's distressing chains,
To the Saviour now be flying;
He will ease you of your pains.
What though bad is your condition,
And your wounds you can't endure?
He, the sinner's wise Physician,
Will effect a perfect cure."

-R. Burnham

Psalm 16:7-8 "I will praise the Lord who counsels me, even at night my conscience instructs me. I keep the Lord in my mind always, because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."

Pressing on and "rewriting my face so others can see Christ in me"....

My Friends Are Engaged!(Photo Sneak Peek)

Congrats Chris & Mel!!

Taking It Back...

Psalm 116 "1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. 2 Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. 3 The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. 4 Then I called on the name of the Lord: "O Lord, save me!" 5 The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. 6 The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. 7 Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. 8 For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, 9 that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living.

10 I believed; therefore I said, "I am greatly afflicted." 11 And in my dismay I said, "All men are liars." 12 How can I repay the Lord for all his goodness to me? 13 I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord. 14 I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people. 15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. 16 O Lord, truly I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant; you have freed me from my chains. 17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord. 18 I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people, 19 in the courts of the house of the Lord-- in your midst, O Jerusalem. Praise the Lord."

This morning I woke up and I was thinking about a person who had really hurt me in the past. I realized that I hadn't thought about them in a while, and I was happy about that because I used to dwell on what happened and replay it in my head. I realized that in my heart I had truly come to a place of forgiveness and it was very liberating. The revelation of the power of forgiveness hit me, and I thought about things that I had recently been meditating on that I would like to be free from. I have had a lot of trouble sleeping at night (partially from thoughts of more recent people who have hurt me and the prednisone I've been taking), and it hit me this morning: I was over complicating these issues in my life! All I needed to do was forgive these people and move on! Verse six says that the Lord protects the simple-hearted and also relates it to rest for the soul. Isn't that powerful that when we keep things simple, they will be simple?!

I so often think about the right words I need to pray for that person, the correct scripture to speak over the situation or how I need to spend more time worshiping so that I will see results. All those things are great, but sometimes the answer is so simple! Forgive and let go! Move on for the sake of finding rest for your soul. Forgiving doesn't mean that you put the stamp of approval on what they did, it just means you refuse to let it have any further control over you and your life.

Update!

Many of you wanted to know how my place looks and I figured, I would take you all on a tour of my place :)

This is my walkway, I just put these new solar lights in and I love them!



Here's the awesome bird feeder I purchased with Kristen on our monthly WalMart adventure!



This is what Devotion time looks like when it's a pretty morning.. other times, I sit at my kitchen table or the couch and catch up with God :)



This is Moe... he always sits at the screen door when it's nice out... and it's pretty nice to know that he gets excited when I come home.. he's a good little guy!



This is my living room :) equipped with Moes toys and plenty of windows :)



The kitchen



Bathroom



Bedroom... it's way bigger than it looks... it's actually a little bigger than the living room.



So, that's it really... I love my place, love my neighbors and the realization that God has blessed me beyond measure leaves me standing in awe.

Speaking of blessings... here's another pretty sweet blessing.... everyone... meet Sean :) the pursuit lasted about 2 months before the Lord opened the door to make things official and it's been about a month now... I couldn't ask for more... Praise God! :)



That's it... God's hand is at work here and it's beautiful!! I love it!! ;) blog ya later!

I Shall Be A Woman Of Prayer!

Psalm 109
"1 O God, whom I praise, do not remain silent, 2 for wicked and deceitful men have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues. 3 With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause. 4 In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer. 5 They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship.

6 Appoint an evil man to oppose him; let an accuser stand at his right hand. 7 When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him. 8 May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership. 9 May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. 10 May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes. 11 May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor. 12 May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children. 13 May his descendants be cut off, their names blotted out from the next generation. 14 May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the Lord; may the sin of his mother never be blotted out. 15 May their sins always remain before the Lord, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth. 16 For he never thought of doing a kindness, but hounded to death the poor and the needy and the brokenhearted. 17 He loved to pronounce a curse-- may it come on him; he found no pleasure in blessing-- may it be far from him. 18 He wore cursing as his garment; it entered into his body like water, into his bones like oil. 19 May it be like a cloak wrapped about him, like a belt tied forever around him. 20 May this be the Lord's payment to my accusers, to those who speak evil of me.

21 But you, O Sovereign Lord, deal well with me for your name's sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me. 22 For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me. 23 I fade away like an evening shadow; I am shaken off like a locust. 24 My knees give way from fasting; my body is thin and gaunt. 25 I am an object of scorn to my accusers; when they see me, they shake their heads. 26 Help me, O Lord my God; save me in accordance with your love. 27 Let them know that it is your hand, that you, O Lord, have done it. 28 They may curse, but you will bless; when they attack they will be put to shame, but your servant will rejoice. 29 My accusers will be clothed with disgrace and wrapped in shame as in a cloak. 30 With my mouth I will greatly extol the Lord; in the great throng I will praise him. 31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save his life from those who condemn him."

There is nothing worse for a woman than feeling out of control. We usually like to have things figured out, scheduled or planned (or maybe that's just me?!). Sometimes I can feel so out of control of my circumstances, or out of control in regards to what people say or think about me. The best I can do is to keep my heart and my mouth pure, and to be myself. If someone chooses to attack me, speak poorly about me or be rude...it's really out of my control! This psalm is comforting to me because David finds himself being spoken against and under attack and he says...but I am a man of prayer.

It was as if David was saying..."I might not be able to control what they think or say about me, but I can do one thing: Pray!" I can pray for them (and it is really hard to stay mad at someone your praying for, by the way), I can pray protection over myself and I can pray and cancel the devil's assignment in this situation. He might be scheming up something nasty. Division in family, church or friendship perhaps. Although I have not been left empty handed by God. I have a powerful weapon: Prayer!

James ......

James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

The testing of our faith in a nutshell is simply pressure. The pressures of finances, relationships, worry, health, circumstances...it is all just an opportunity to see what we are made of. Are we strong enough to hold up for the ride or do we have a leak somewhere? I have found that as the pressure has been put on this past year, I have found many little leaks. I leak faith, trust, patience, perseverance...the list goes on.

I thank God that He doesn't just take me on the ride regardless of if I am ready or not. We all know that riding on a leaky tire just ruins both the ride and the tire. God is gracious and with a great purpose that he has for us in mind, he is patient as he waits for us to be firm, steady and filled up with the spirit.

If you really want to fulfill all that God has for you, pressure will come. Your faith will be tested and refined, but in the end you will have the strength to carry out the great destiny that God has for you. Embrace your spiritual tune-up and realize that the journey ahead will all be worth it.

Jesus - I Am Resting!

I find myself at times wondering why people act as if they don't know you when you spend everyday working right beside them. It's painful at times to stop and reflect on the way that can make the baggage you thought you were rid of surface again. Then, you start to dwell on your faults. I've done that so much and sometimes tend to revert back to that. So, in light of this revealing fault I'm sharing on my unread blog.... here's what I'm excited about....... Resting In Christ! That's it!! Amazing huh? On that note.... here's a video of my buddies.... The Shelly Moore Band created by Wes Latta .... I miss y'all!!