The definition of wellness is, "being in a state of good health, especially as an actively pursued goal". Aren't we all guilty of setting ourselves up in a way that will ultimately contradict this? If you aren't guilty of setting a goal for good health, then I don't believe you. We all have these ideas of good. This could be spiritual, physical, mental health etc. Just because we have the goal in mind whether we speak it out loud or keep it to ourselves, a small piece of us is disappointed when we are unable to achieve it just as we perceived when said goal was thought of/created.
Over the past few months I have been perfecting my clinical expertise, understanding where I need to place my focus, and what direction I ultimately want to go. I can't help but include all of me in that decision. To not confuse you, I am talking about the fact that many have a need to separate themselves at work as compared to home.
Home: Vulnerable, loud, at times too silent. A confusing space, filled with love. At times angst exists, but home is also a safe space or for some a place that can be dangerous.
Now this is my interpretation of a home filled with a lot of love. Let's face it, love is vulnerable, loud, silent, confusing, safe, unsafe, and filled with angst at times.
What is my point now that I have made you read this far into my post? Well, anywhere we work can also be these things/places. But how do we actually make it worth our time?
For me, I do what I love. I live out my life every day striving to be a better person than I was yesterday. As a wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, social worker, co-worker, employee.... to me, this is so important.
The single, most important reason to always strive to do better is because of YOU. Let me type that out one more time, in a better way because I need you to repeat it: YOU are the most important thing in your life. Do you need to repeat that again? If you do, go ahead... I'll wait.
This doesn't mean your kids, significant others, or your spiritual higher power is last. I say the above because my own wellness is finally starting to become first in my life. That is with support of those who understand the importance of how it all plays into the day to day.
As I have been perfecting my clinical skills, and figuring out me, I have struggled much to get here. Hit after hit, the past two years have been difficult to process. Difficult to recall and through recalling, difficult to not flinch or weep in the sorrows of all that was lost. Through my grieving process, I have found some healing, some solace, direction, and more to fight for.
I do not think those who work in the human services field make the decision to do so without understanding the importance of their contribution. I have always tried to fight for the better things. I have done it wrong in the past and I have also done it well in the past. It all shapes and molds us into different, more equipped individuals. At least, it should.
The difference between home and work is that we get to unwind a little more at home, we get to "clean up" a bit before going back to work. I have always made it a point to be the same person at work than I am at home. Contrary to popular opinion that this is taboo, we deal with humans who are going through very raw human things. I am not the person behind the desk that gets to judge you. I am the person outside of the box who can grab your hand and say, "let's figure this out together." and. "hey, let me advocate for you."
I've been speaking with my husband about the person I want to be and what I envision for our life together. Though he would support me if I wanted to be a caricature, we have had some struggles. I mean that, we have had to fight to get to the place where we are on the same page. It was not easy. God knows that man has the patience of a saint. However, I have also had the patience of a saint. We agree on this. It is never a one-sided thing in a relationship. If there is more than one person involved in any relationship, it's going to get ugly from time to time.
A little internal family systems pun to get the therapist in me going.... In order to get to the good parts, we must address all of the parts. Get it? The parts? Tell me you get it? Haha
Anyway, all of this to tell you all that I am healing. I am working at being me. A "me" that is different than some may recall, but nonetheless the me that still loves people, to laugh, and the me that can still be super professional when I need to be. I just love myself a little more. A big "thank you" to my sister for opening my eyes to see that. I miss and love you so, sissy.
Please begin to listen to and love yourself. Most of all, continue to do good things.
Until next time and with much love,
Patti
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